garden, urn (2015)

you stand in a ripe garden and all you eat is meat
all you eat is yourself

build new legs because you ate the old ones

we are vile beings, covered in shit and fleisch\

blind I cling to the thing between your legs it leads me nowhere
long gone the frayed electric that was my mind
after first friction

suck snot down a straw
peel thin meat to unpack a clump soft
and gorge like careless gods

oh this we deserve
step into the first snow and paint it white after you move
oh this alsinius
salt and hot blood in my teeth,

a mass of pulp and
the bite to your own neck
foreplay for a dragon’s game
I thought we were giants or doves maybe we are just hungry

 

Summer came and the wolves were frightened
mother comforted them under one wing
the other cradling wind for a fire
pass it to my torch
Syxxior

an appeal to the justice of heraldry
we march out to the council tomorrow late morning
come with us,
I offer
But he must stay behind and be with my sheep

I have to prepare our place for him,
Ahead

Head down, ride hard across a fat water
I believed I could walk on it but today I rode
I did not sink
and next time I will not sink either

“I will never give up on you” and other lies we tell each other:
A Memoir
written by a mother of one

her daughter became a teacher
she too will light that fire in the night snow—
so rider sleep silent

ill-conceived notions of beauty prevent us from looking at the stars
perhaps it is for the best that we cannot see thm
that they are invisible I think?

Something I read in a book
Something I read online or
did he tell me that god dies at the end

and there was a love story in it at some point but it didn’t work out, I think

 

Ebb set lightly on a window frame, stain soft
little sea

I think it is good that we are having this conversation
I think it was good for me too
I needed that
thank you
thank you!
good night :)
good night!!

float over river’s fog as a stick ready to fall
Demosthenes found her man
a hand more righteous left with a knife than the tongue written by sailor crewmen

Interesting, the brown speckles on a vibrant yellow banana. Seeks solitude in a mess of staples and unwalked dogs. offered cocaine by a man with a calming voice. Has no money for cocaine.

 

“Look how closely man guards his nothing. Truly, God is hated here.”

oh the insipidity I found in dresser drawers and cottage shelves
your conversations buzz in my seat as a landscape that I can sink and sleep or think my form into

metaphysical painter, paint me a pretty picture
here, he painted me a flower and a face
now we say thanks
now we say grace

garden
urn
yearn for a fertile parking lot or anywhere cornerly
for us to exchange fingertips and then burn
for us to grip and grip and burn
drip
drip drip
lips and palm to a satyr’s fist
drip and drink
burn

reborn faun spreads itself out gelatinous for a swan’s breakfast
energy abides in the growing hole of root and dry soot dirt
crawl down with me,
come! Crawl down with me!

someone had to wait and stand watch I stay for a while, left them and went in
the heartbeat sounded like a trance wail after a few hours
the silence hurt our ears a few hours more
two weeks later they were all gone but I didn’t notice them die

something opening up
something bl

………..

ill-conceived notions of beauty prevented us from seeing Hceleyim
silence is a choir
silence is a great song
and sightless dark a blinding radiance of shape and unknown light

fenster fog and unlocked lamprey mouths
sing slowly in a bright bright room and rock
rock, held by her cocoon of auburn wave
strands in and around your sorrow
maintaining its cohesion, at least

/
What was I supposed to say, anyhow,
“Don’t hurt the kid?”
Jesus, Mary, I know I’m a self-centered prick—my first and only concern was to get out of there safe.

Well yeah, that’s the point! Fuck that, I’m not going to go back there and say sorry like I owe him something. We do what we feel and I will never be able to stop feeling or not feeling the way I do. The whole world isn’t going to change the place I was birthed from. Even if I owned the sun I cant go back to your feeble hellos and soft waves. It’s bullshit and something that you were happy to choose, but I never could.

No I’m not mad at you, Mary. What sense would be in that? You’re just you, and I’m just me, ….

The difference is you chose what you do and I didn’t make a choice. I made a motion and the arms of the mountains stole me from..  into their fire-eyes and swept me under. After I came up to see you I realized I will never be able to come back.

But you can’t be more than yourself this way.

 I don’t want to be. And that doesn’t exist, besides.

……….

 Mary?

Mary.
/